“Sharing Positives With Those Who Mean The Most To You”
Last week one of my studio parents complimented me on how I run my dance studios. Her loving and carefully chosen words came as somewhat of a shock since I have learned to become tough and resilient in an attempt to protect my heart in what has become an overly-competitive and sometimes-ugly dance world. “Miss B, I admire your resilience! I honestly don’t know how you continue to do what you do…..It is clear that you are passionate about your work, love the kids and are committed to excellence in all aspects of the studio. You give equal attention to your staff, costumes, choreography and peoples’ feelings. Your dancers strive to meet your expectations and thrive on your care and attention. We are lucky to have you.” Huh? I looked at the mother and asked, “What did I do to deserve these affirmative observations and positive words?” She shared that she was completing her last semester at The Claremont Graduate University in the Executive MBA Program. She had taken a course taught by Professor David Cooperrider who developed a ‘wellness and satisfaction’ lecture series over the past decade known as, ‘Reflected Best-Self Exercise’. The positive results of her study had noticeably impacted her own personal life. A mother of two who regularly observes her daughters’ dance classes, she questioned if I had been personally mentored by a life-coach. I responded candidly, “For 39-years I’ve tried many different teaching approaches, achieving basically the same end-results. In the earlier years, it was all about me and my way alone but over time I’ve come to realize that it’s all about the wonderful kids and my incredible staff. At this time in my life, my role is to simply mentor and guide them to become all that they can be. Life’s greatest lessons are learned by being good listeners….my students provide a daily source of knowledge and are my greatest teachers!”
I found our conversation more than intriguing as it was refreshing to discuss something unrelated to dance. The mother continued to share that most research is done studying the ‘faults’ rather than the ‘strengths’ of human beings. The course exemplified how easy it is for us to ‘critique’ but how we haven’t developed an extensive language to ‘compliment’. I shared with her that my dancers perform at their personal-best when they are given positive and realistic goals to achieve. At the end of each dance season, I ask students to share short-story examples of how their instructors have ‘inspired’ them as dancers. They are encouraged to think of the instructor’s positives, that is, their strengths and personal contributions to ‘their world’. In our attempt to seek constant acceptance and approval, we feel closer and empowered by those who help to identify the ‘special qualities’ that we all possess that can positively impact and influence others. The nice things that people say and do in our most critical time of need are the ones that make the biggest difference in our lives. Has someone changed your life merely by reminding you that you were ‘capable’ and that ‘you’ made a difference in ‘their’ life?
As adult mentors, we must acknowledge that our children selectively choose to hear and remember only ‘the negative words’ when being scolded, critiqued or corrected. If they don’t come away with the feeling of, “They truly believe I can achieve this”, then they may simply give up or make little effort to improve. Approaching all situations from a supportive and understanding standpoint will inevitably help to bring about more positive and rewarding results.
“STUDIO SHORT-ESSAY CHALLENGE”: I would like to publicize a few short studio-submitted essays for upcoming magazine submissions!
- Please write to a short essay on a specific Dellos staff member; (teacher, choreographer, desk or management), exemplifying the ‘positive impact’ that he/she has had on you, school, your family or your dancer. In detail, please describe a specific incident, action, gesture, character or spoken words that have made a significant difference in your dancer’s performance, goals and overall self-esteem and personal-confidence.
Your submissions will be shared with your dancer’s mentors as a means to ‘empower and compliment’. In our daily world that is often clouded and distracted with unforeseen upset, defeat and challenge, a few ‘positive words of encouragement’ can make even the darkest day brighter to someone in need!
I look forward to receiving your short submissions! In addition to parent-entries, please encourage your dancer to pick a favorite ‘role-model-mentor’ at Dellos. Have them share, in their own words, how that individual has helped to positively shape their life!
PLEASE EMAIL OR LEAVE ESSAYS AT THE FRONT DESK NO LATER THAN MONDAY, APRIL 9th!
PRIZES WILL BE AWARDED TO THE TOP ENTRIES!
Hopefully your essay will make it into my next magazine publication!
With Much Love! Miss B
“DELLOS “SHORT-ESSAY CHALLENGE”:
I would like to publicize a few short studio-submitted essays for upcoming magazine submissions! Here’s what I need…..
- Write to a short essay on a specific Dellos staff member; (teacher, choreographer, desk or management personnel ), exemplifying the ‘positive & personal impact’ that he/she has had on you, your schooling or your family-unit.
- In detail, please describe a specific incident, an action, a gesture, spoken words or the individual’s character that has made a significant difference in your performance, goals, self-esteem and overall personal-confidence.
NOTE!: PRIZES WILL BE AWARDED FOR THE ESSAYS SELECTED TO BE USED FOR MY MAGAZINE ARTICLE!
